The History of the Condom

(This was copied right from the 'cyclopedia, just like my book report for Ms. Jenkins' English class in the 6th grade. -Pete ;-)

Most historians believe that Roman soldiers were the first people to use condoms. While fraternizing with local women on long marches away from Rome, the soldiers used dried sheep intestines as sheaths for protecting themselves against disease, the most notorious of which was the "Mount Vesuvius Rash."

With the fall of the Roman Empire, however, the use of condoms became rare. In fact, condom technology was nearly lost forever during the Middle Ages. The condom was then "re-invented" by the Marquis De Sade in 17th century France, when the Marquis wrapped a strip of bacon around his penis before he sodomized live chickens.

Early versions of the condom were not very effective, as Benjamin Franklin produced 53 illegitimate children during his illustrious and prolific career as a founding father of the United States of America.

The first modern adaptation of the condom was developed in 1921, when a factory worker in Akron, OH, Alfred Trojan, accidentally dunked his erect penis into a vat of vulcanized rubber. His condom empire now consists of $50 million in sales to over 40 countries around the world, but his once-proud penis was reduced to a blackened, shriveled twig.

Today, the condom is used as not only a method of birth control, but also as an effective means for preventing the spread of sexually transmitted diseases, most notably the deadly AIDS virus.

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